Jaunes at Work
by LaughingTragedy
Summary: Right what it says on the tin, Jaune Arc doing a number of oddjobs. Suggestions will be taken and at the moment the poor sap is Salem's secretary. (Warning: language, cartoonish violence, etc.)
1. Chapter 1: Dentist

**Oh this is just rich, absolutely rich. I find a lot of joy in stories where Jaune ends up taking a different occupation, either cause of it's slice-of-life feel or humorous interactions. This is going to be devoted to one-shots (which may or may not be connected) as we follow Arc through his many jobs. Guy is essentially a male Barbie with the amount of jobs he's had.**

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Moira was having a dull day at work again, all she has to do is sit at the frontdesk and tell people when it's time to get their teeth cleaned. This dullness was interrupted by a rather... flamboyantly dressed man in a bowler hat dragging in a girl with a pink/white/brown color scheme. She seemed to be crying in pain given her expressions yet no sound came from her, the man was having none of that as he pulled her to the frontdesk.

"On- I _swear to Oum_ Neo! If you don't stop no more ice cream for a _week_!"

This caused the girl to stop, kicking his shin but nonetheless cooperating. The ginger sucked his teeth but kept a cool demeanor, _I am so kicking a henchman in the balls for this_. "I believe we have an appointment for today? Should be under Neo Napoli?"

Neo rolled her eyes, which Moira could've sworn changed color. "Um, yes, the doctor is still with a patient at the mo-"

The door next to her opened, out coming a few familiar faces to both Neo and the redhead.

"Come on, uncle..." Malachite had his left arm, while Militia had his right. Junior had a mouthful of cotton as he was led out, still reeling from the laughing gas. He turned to see Neo and Roman, giving a wave and a goofy smile.

"Hweerf Rowmen!"

Torchwick turned to the twins, raising an eyebrow. "Blonde chick knocked a tooth out, doc fixed him up, he's gonna be... loopy for awhile." Militia replied, or was it Malachite? Oum, he could never get it right. "Let's go, club won't run itself." The other twin pulled a bit harder on his arm, nearly causing Junior to trip as they took him away. Roman scratched his head, "Um, I guess it's our turn?"

The receptionist nodded, leaning back and yelling, "Dr. Arc!"

A blonde who looked to be a bit young to be running a business, let alone have a medical license, walked out. "I take it this is Niya?" He gave a warm smile, not seeing that the girl had her tongue out. Her 'father' next to her sighed, "Yeah, yeah, can we make this quick? She's been more of a pain in my ass than usual."

"It really wise to use that kinda language around someone so young?" Jaune held out his hand for Neo who begrudginly accepted, least he was cute. Roman followed, about to light a cigar before seeing the no-smoking sign. _Yep... Gonna be a long day._

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It took most of the laughing gas they had to finally get Neo into the seat, the establishment now looking more like a warzone than a place of dentistry. She gave the same goofy smile Junior had on his way out, constantly reaching for Jaune's hair as he went to work.

"Hmmm, a couple of stained teeth... Four cavities... One rotting tooth... What did you say her diet was?"

"Ice cream."

"And what else?"

"Ice cream."

The redhead didn't even look up from the magazine he was reading, for all he cared his job was done as he managed to get Neo here. Jaune shook his head, "Damn.. kids these days, you need to start taking care of yourself." He booped her nose, earning a boop back. "Now, I'm gonna need to remove the tooth and fill those cavities... If it hurts, just grip the chair."

She nodded, opening her mouth and closing her eyes.

Jaune reached for a pair of pliers and started to pull. Earning a sharp kick to the gut, "Fuck!" the blonde pulled harder in response. Good news, the tooth was out. Bad news, the laughing gas was starting to wear off. Neo's smile faded, twitching as she imagined what she could do to make him suffer.

"Alright.. before I give you some more happy juice... How about I get you a nice ice cream flavor toothpaste to use?"

She nodded, giving a pout as she let him continue. Every now and then trying to bite his fingers.

* * *

Once it was all said and done, Jaune looked like he needed to go to the ICU but Neo once again had a spotless smile. The ginger passed him a few extra lien, "That should cover the hospital costs, you're on your own with the rest." He patted his back and left, following the skipping girl out the door.

The Arc collapsed into the chair once occupied by her, "I hate my job..."

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 **Feel free to suggest what other oddjobs this guy should do.**


	2. Chapter 2: Firefighter

**Glad you guys are enjoying my work so far, just going to jump right into it.**

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Cinder may have miscalculated ever so slightly...

Okay, maybe a little more than slightly...

Possibly a lot...

 _Oh Salem damn it, I fucked up._

With her particular powerset it was easy for things to get out of hand, particularly when she was having a battle in a warehouse filled with fire dust crystals. The huntsmen managed to escape, leaving her to contemplate her life choices as the fire grew around her. She was trapped, no way out, and most certainly gonna die.

 _Least there's never a cold day in hell._

She leaned back on the crate next to her, closing her eyes.

Only to open them again as she heard the sound of sirens and axe against wood. She saw firefighters have come, good things do happen to bad people! She rushed over to them, only for a beam to come down and pin her to the ground.

 _Fucking karma..._

One of the firefighters rushed over, struggling a bit to lift the beam but managing to get it off her. He picked her up bridal-style and rushed to the freshly-made exit. She could feel aura being poured into her, healing her. Cinder smiled, she was actually getting away with this as she put her arms around the man's neck and kissed his mask.

Once they were outside she was put on her feet and her savior took off his mask, revealing beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair. "Are you alright?" He gave a smile, earning a blush from Cinder. "I am now that you're here, what's your name?"

"Easy, i-

* * *

"JAUNE!"

The young Arc woke with a yelp, accidentally falling off his bed after waking from his dream. "Sorry, needed to ask you for notes, alright gotta go bye!" The pink blur came and went, leaving Jaune on the floor as he sighed. "I should've been a fireman..."

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 **Ah, as funny as it is reading fics where fanon Jaune is actually a sex god it is much more fun reading dorky canon Jaune trying to be suave. See you all next time.**


	3. Chapter 3: White Fang Recruiter

**This was too good to pass on.**

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Jaune looked himself in the mirror once more, making sure that everything was in place as he dusted his robes. How he got THIS of all things as his summer job he'll never know, but lien is lien. "Alright, buddy. Say it, you're a faunus... And you're proud..."

He saw a twitch of the eye, he puffed up his chest and repeated himself. "I'm a faunus... and I'm proud!"

 _Louder_

"I'm a faunus and I'm proud!"

The young Arc pumped his fist into the air, ready to take on the world and live a lie 2 electric boogaloo. He left his Valien apartment, a foldable table and chair under his arms as he walked out, and set up shop in the shopping district. He pulled out the table and ontop of it placed a sign that said, "Your human scum, faunus rule! Change my mind." Plenty of people passing seemed rather confused as they saw him, he didn't even have any kind of animalistic eyes let along a tail or bunny ears. Why was he of all people doing this? The first one up wasn't one of them but rather a curious faunus, a gazelle girl no older than 20 or 22 to be exact.

"Um... what are you doing...?" She tilted her head, her horns keeping her hair from getting in her face.

The boy smiled, "Recruiting for the White Fang, we have cookies!" He pulled out a batch of chocolate chips from Brothers know where. She lifted an eyebrow and took one, "Thank you, but I meant... I mean, aren't you human?"

The blonde shook his head, "100% Horse Faunus, I'm afraid."

The girl blinked, the cogs in her head rotating before her face blushed a bright red. "I... I.. um thank you, thank you.." She giggled, walking away after discretely slipping her phone number across the table.

He waved, "Have a nice day!" _Wonder why people keep doing that when I say I'm a horse faunus? Isn't it obvious that I have a big.._

"What the hell are you doing?"

Jaune turned to see his classmate Blake at the table, eyes narrowed as if she found him wearing her clothes. "White Fang recruitment!"

Blake closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "... Why?"

"Pays good lien, plus free cookies! Want one?" He held the plate up but she shook her head, "Just... Jaune.. you're not a faunus."

"Yes I am." He smiled, not noticing the eye and bow twitch coming from the girl.

"No. You're not." She plainly said, one thing for humans to say shit but to go and dress up as them? What was weird though was how convined Jaune seemed about the whole thing.

"Yeah, I am, 100% Horse Faunus!" He gave a big smile, not seeing the dropping of her jaw. When he opened his eyes he saw she was gone, "Blake...?" He looked around, "Huh... guess she was busy..."

Really, wasn't it obvious? I mean... maybe it wasn't, true he was always kind ashamed and embarassed by it but got used to it after puberty. He turned to see Velvet with a few shopping bags in her hands, she gave a shy smile. "Um, hey, Jaune... Weird.. seeing you do something like this... So.. what kind of faunus are you?"

Jaune smiled, "Horse of course."

"Oh... Oh... Ooooooh... Um... doesn't.. isn't that a bit.. hard to handle..?" She blushed, never hearing of a faunus stuck with that kind of anatomy.

"Eh, always was but after puberty hit me I've come to terms with it. Though girls would always keep pointing at it and asking to see it when I was growing up."

The blush grew, "And.. and what would you do?"

"Show them of course!"

Velvet paused, processing what he just said. "W..did... what..?"

"Do you wanna see?"

"M...maybe... um..." She looked around quick, then passed her scroll number to Jaune. "Later... okay?"

He nodded, "Sure, whatever works, have a nice day, Velvet!"

"Y..you too, Jaune.." She waved goodbye as she racewalked to the bullhead yard.

 _Don't know why I couldn't just show her my overbite now... Oh well, got a long day ahead of me._

Jaune smiled as he took from the plate of cookies.

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 **May continue with this, so much potential, hell a story could be made out of it.**


	4. Chapter 4: Intern of Evil

**Well, that was my first attempt at a little sophomoric humor. And no, Jaune doesn't actually have any Horse Faunus traits, the thing implied as big was supposed to be his two front death. You wanna see Horse Faunus!Jaune? Gonna have to write it or find it yourself, mates. This next one is from the same person who suggested the previous drabble's occupation, and like the past one it is just too good.**

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 _What did I do to get myself in this mess..._

Jaune repeated this to himself daily, he went from the only son of an Arc to living in a demented castle filled with not only Grimm but is apparently the spawning point for all Grimm. He has seen shit that would make a sane man's mind break, but surprisingly that wasn't what disturbed him about this place. No, it wasn't the fact that a human Grimm monster who was apparently the Queen of Grimm was now his boss, the murder happy psycho who kept giving him molestation eyes, or the fact he wasn't getting paid. No, what disturbed him was what has become routine for his new 'life'.

"Hey, sexy."

Jaune gritted his teeth, _Oh fuck me..._ "Yes, Merc...?"

The silverhaired henchman leaned on the secretary's desk, "Was just wondering if you're free tonight."

The blonde sighed, "For the last time... I. Am. A. Guy."

"I know." He smirked, "But you're close enough so... that a yes?"

Before Jaune could retort Emerald passed by, "Pay no mind to him, Blondie, guy's still sore Cinder burned his little friend." The girl gave a shit eating grin as she sat on the boy's desk. "Wait, what?" Like always, he was out of the loop as he turned back to Merc who was now a deep shade of red. "N-nothing, nothing." He glared at his partner before turning back to Jaune, "Anyway... you were saying?" He leaned in, giving Jaune a wink.

"Mercury!" The boy stood up straight after hearing the boss' voice, "Stop playing with Salem's toys, unless you want me to burn your other little friend next, you creep." Cinder passed the two, causing Emerald to jump off and follow with Mercury not far behind.

The now alone blonde sighed, resting his head as he wished to have his life back.


End file.
